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I once knew a boy
Who carried his dreams on his back
And kept them together
In a burlap sack,
Which he hoisted
And heaved
Until finally
He'd leave
Usually in the same way
That he came,
With a bag full of dreams
A back full of pain
And with nowhere left to stay.
This boy
Though so small
carried it all
Without a single complaint,
While his legs seemed to stall
And continually tried to fall
At every bump in the road.
But on the boy walked
He could not be stopped
On his quest to keep his dreams.
So to help him along
I sang him a song
So mellifluous
And so sweet
It became a lullaby
And slowly shut his eyes
So he could finally go to sleep.
And while he slept on the ground
I made not a sound
While I approached the burlap sack,
I made small tear
So some dreams
Could escape, if they dare.
I just wanted to help
I swear.
That bag was too heavy
For any boy to wear.
I knew this
This I did.
So when he awoke
And started to choke
As he realized
That his dreams were gone
They had long since died,
I did not try to apologize
Even as the boy cried and cried
"Why! Why did my dreams have to die?"
I said nothing to the boy
And merely let him cry.
And when he had
Nothing left to grieve
The boy finally hoisted
And heaved
And left in a way that had changed.
I once knew a boy
With a bag full of dreams
But now I know a man
With a bag ripped to seams
Dragging it along
Cause it's too torn to hold his heart.
There is absolutely no upside to this piece. Its a downer. Also the bag is burlap cause its the right number of syllables.
So today a complete style switch up , i went with storybook with a changing rhyme scheme :D. Hope everyone enjoys.
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Cullieagh Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
This is good poetry.  I liked the beat and feel of the the way you wove your words.  I also really dug the imagery and the story that you told.  This poem also has a lingering after-taste akin to that of a good wine that still can be savored with the breath after the wine is swallowed, an echo of the afterimage if you will. 
tzaroth Featured By Owner May 4, 2014
Poke a hole in that which matters most... soul-wrapped dreams drift in the night breeze... to whence they went he'll never know.

They say one must be cruel, to be kind.
ShadowsGirl9 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Guardian-of-Light137 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Student Writer
How you felt I assume. Sorry.
justsomeperson1920 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh my fudge

that just sent shivers down my spine
TheAnimalsRight Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Enjoy reading your words very much. Don't often read poems but find your natural rhythm quite addictive.:) (Smile) 
Ender-Wings Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Matakoura Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
This is amazing! The metaphors and rhythm and's an absolutely amazing piece of work!
DreamCraftsman Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This poem is beautiful.
It reminds of me of myself and my dreams.
They are too heavy for me to carry.
But in the end it would have been better for me to give up those dreams.
And start a new.
Thank you my friend for a beautiful masterpiece.
Toto-vT Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Crazy good!
losgeloest Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014
I'm honest, that is an incredible masterpiece.
Where is your well deserved DD and the front page feature? In other words, I love it <3<3
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014
well im pretty sure ive been banned from the front page recently but i love the compliments :D

Sumptous Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014
ashleyparisss Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014
I thought that was beautiful :)
CharlieAlphaFoxtrot Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Where is your feature space? This is incredible. 
BruiseViolet01 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014
This is wonderful.
SasukeUchihaSan Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This should be on the front page of deviantart. Just pure amazing!
theheek Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
meanmaco12 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Holy pineapples on a shit stick that was amazing, absolutely amazing :O if I could give more than one fave I'd give you one hundred :D
kidko123 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Excuse my language, but fanfuckingtastic.
That was incredible.

Just two little typos: 22nd line, "He could not *be stopped"
                                 Last line, "'Cause *it's too torn to hold hist heart"

You can ignore me, though, I'm just a little stickler for spelling and all that stuff.

CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014
Changed, thanks :D (i'm one of the rare writers who sucks at grammar) feel free to read my other works tell me the typos there too ;P
featherling Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Student Writer
Love the concept and very nice writing!!! =D
Dream-Senpaii Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Student Writer
I absolutely adore this
Rallya Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Student General Artist
Man, this is beautiful. And so sad.
A truly inspiring piece of poetry!
ZellRozen Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014
I liked it. You need downer pieces to appreciate the uppers too!
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Submitted on
January 10, 2014


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