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Absolutely beautiful imagery in the first lines; the Biblical imagery was good, and it shows how the speaker is starting to lose his grasp on reality. The recurring theme of the reflection in the bottom of the glass is evocative and heart-breaking - I want the speaker to find a different face, but we all know that he won't. Good job with rhyme and rhythm here - it takes hard work to write good form poetry, and it's even harder when the poem can so easily dissolve into free verse. From one poet to another: good work!
I'm submitting this to my poetry group and sending you an invitation; I hope you accept.
the ending gave me pause for a few minutes, but i took it to mean that you would rather be a fool that was able to stop drinking, as opposed to being a drunk fool.
the dying in bliss part was especially powerful to me. i know a lot of people who thought that dying under the influences of alcohol was the best thing they could manage in their lives. it takes a hard look at one's life to realize that is not even close to a good solution. but it fits so well into the thought process of the poem, and we have all been there at some point or another.
your whole poem is very powerfully written, and shows a side of drinking that the commercials seem to forget to advertise. congrats, and keep on writing.
I've found that when writing about the darker base emotions, disregarding rhyme entirely helps to convey the rawness of the state.
Its wonderfull how you mamnaged it to let it seem so depressing and yet using bright primary colours!
The lighting in this is gorgeous. The green, orange and yellow spots centre the focus on the bar, the only spot in the picture the people seem to communicate - a wonderfull detail!
The floor of the whole room seems to be a open black abyss, as the figures would fall forever if they would leave their seats.
All in one: I´m not very interested in modern art, but this piece of art is amazing and has the charisma of an masterpiece!
Thanks for...mh...enlighten me!^^
I love poems.