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Writing by karithevocaloid

Writing by How2HandleHeartbreak

Poetry and others by monikata


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Submitted on
April 19, 2014
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When you see her cry
you get a rag,
a gentle delicate clothe
lovingly grasp her hand
and dab its tip
to dry each tear as they come
and ask each drop
why it'd leave
such beautiful eyes.

If she wishes 
to be in the sky
Tell her to go 
Take the sun ransom
And replace it in the sky
So you can see her every morning
and plead for her 
To return each night.

When you see her scars
Both visible
And non
touch each 
gently like you might
caress the broken wing
Of a dove 
and remind her
that for every hurt
that she's survived
has only made her 
that much more unique
that much stronger.

Show her that she is worthy of love
That she deserves the love
she fears to give...
show her so that
one day after you're gone
she can find the strength 
to continue on without you.

Tell her 
that while she might not be 
a goddess above worldly desires
or poet writing alluring lines
Of passion and love
that she is amazing,
that she is astounding
for just being  herself
for being that beautiful girl
that believes herself to be damaged
when ,in truth,
She's just a different kind of beautiful.

And finally love her 
Like a boy loves a girl 
Till she finally remembers
That that's what she is 
Not a scar,
Not a goddess,
Not a star,
But a girl
That deserves to be loved.
Done in response to PrussianPersephone :iconprussianpersephone: 's piece   fav.me/d7er9tk it was beautiful and certainly deserves its acclaim, if you haven't read it please do; however I personally didn't enjoy the dependency shown in the piece. You should never depend on someone else to find even an inch of your worth because that would mean they could take an inch away.
If Prussian sees this, this piece was done out of respect for your piece's content, and please note me if you have any problems with it.

ALSO STILL NEED SUPPORT ON WATTPAD, IF YOU LIKED THE PIECE AND HAVE ONE PLEASE GO HERE: www.wattpad.com/45030896-garde… .
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmezzoak1876:
Mezzoak1876 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  New member Hobbyist
Love the poem.If I see someone crying, I always ask what's wrong and I get them some damp paper towels, I always do, but what happens to them when I'm not there, or it's me? Sometimes the people who need the most love are the ones who are the most loving.
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you for speaking. It reached my heart
Reply
:iconlopeny:
Lopeny Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014  New member
It's beautiful. Good job!
Reply
:iconxiulinshou:
XiuLinShou Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is very beautiful. 
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Love. This. So. Much.
Reply
:iconleaada:
leaada Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
that is soooooo beautiful. Hamtaro Mouse Emoji-02 (Kawaii) [V1] Ryuuko Ryuushi Mifune (Moe and feeling love) [V1] 
Reply
:iconieatb3ars:
ieatb3ars Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014
While this piece is very artfully written, I sincerely and respectfully disagree with its premise. 

What I find odd is how the poem operates on an assumption that because a girl is emotionally hurt, she should be loved.   While this may tug at the heartstrings with romantic imagery of a lover wiping away tears and otherwise righting the sails of a wayward ship, it is perhaps too romanticized for me.  It truly is a pity when a person cannot find their own light and I completely understand that, at times, it takes the help of others to find it.  But, this just feels like overkill and pandering to a specific audience (which is not wrong; there are probably innumerable literary pieces like this used for commercial gain).

I apologize if my words offend.  From a technical standpoint, it is well executed; I simply disagree with the message.
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014
oops typo second line should say damaged and wouldnt
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014
im not offended i dont mind disagreement , however you seem to have misunderstood something. im not saying she should be loved because shes damage that would help anybody. im more displayin this as a correct way to treat a girl your inlove with if shes damaged or emotionaly scared. oh and yeah it is very much pandering and have no qualm with that statment.
Reply
:iconieatb3ars:
ieatb3ars Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014
Oh, sorry for the misunderstanding.  I missed out on the bit that this is how to treat "a girl you are in love with" because it is not mentioned in the piece itself nor is it explicit from the title.  

Thank you for your reply. 
Reply
:iconjessisfinallydeviant:
JessIsFinallyDeviant Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Student General Artist
Amazing piece,it really can touch the heart and that's the most important in a poem in my opinion :heart:
Reply
:iconlawli-art:
Lawli-Art Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
...
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014
is that a good "..." or a bad "..."
Reply
:iconlawli-art:
Lawli-Art Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's good...
but it seems like
you're too afraid
to trust
the world.
(I'm probably
wrong but it's
just a guess
-I'm sorry.)
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014
? where'd you see that within the piece?
Reply
:iconlawli-art:
Lawli-Art Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
In the description...

"however I personally didn't enjoy the dependency shown in the piece. You should never depend on someone else to find even an inch of your worth because that would mean they could take an inch away."
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014
Hmm well your right I suppose. Not a trusting sort. You noticed as much. But hey *shrug* I can write , if I can't give someone my trust I can always just give them my words
Reply
:iconlawli-art:
Lawli-Art Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Also, I suspect I'll be the crazy old lady living with 30 cats and a ancient computer, spending the whole time reading fanfiction.Jammin' 
Reply
:iconlawli-art:
Lawli-Art Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Good point.
Reply
:icondarius343:
Darius343 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014
Awesome work!!Beautifully said.
Reply
:iconleah084:
Leah084 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014
I enjoyed this poem.
Reply
:iconstripey663:
stripey663 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is such lovely poetry! it brings tears to the eye! and it made me feel a lot better about myself... surprizingly... i didnt think that was possible..
Reply
:iconskullpunk666girl:
skullpunk666girl Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
poetry is a beautiful form of art. 
Reply
:icontakanika:
takanika Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014
Thank you, for writing this.

It made me cry ^^ It was all that I needed to read/listen today.

"that she is amazing,
that she is astounding
for just being  herself
for being that beautiful girl
that believes herself to be damaged
when ,in truth,
She's just a different kind of beautiful."

Thank you Hug 
Reply
:iconnoxfeline:
NoxFeline Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Student General Artist
I like it but i feel like it kind of romanticizes depression and self harm but idk either way your poem is great, i like the flow.
Reply
:icondevarjunjoshi:
DevarjunJoshi Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014
WOW JUST WOW !!! 
Reply
:icontammyt612:
TammyT612 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Student General Artist
This is beautiful. In love with your use of words xxx 
Reply
:icontomboy-fangirl:
Tomboy-Fangirl Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
So touching...*cries forever*
Reply
:iconjingleskitty:
JinglesKitty Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
(I'm always typing like this)

1 P3RS0N4LLY L1K3D TH3 P31C3
1M G0NN4 SH0W 1T T0 P30PL3
4ND H0P3FULLY TH3Y W1LL UND3RST4ND
MY C0ND1T10NS~~~THX F0R Y0UR 
1SP1R4T10N 4ND H4RD W0RK
Reply
:iconhanechan:
HaneChan Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Pffffff <3 Made me moody, very moody, since the same happens to me and the same someone else is doing to me...

Damn it ;U;
Reply
:iconwinged-wolf22tm:
Winged-Wolf22TM Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Student General Artist
:iconcannotevenplz:
Reply
:iconbyebyebyebyebye:
Byebyebyebyebye Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014
Oh right because we can't do that 
Reply
:iconnihilumbra:
Nihilumbra Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautiful *-*
Reply
:iconcrisishalfprincess:
CrisisHalfPrincess Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hopy crap that's just -
right in my emotional brain center why
Reply
:iconbhsbluehairedsaiyan:
BHSBlueHairedSaiyan Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Why you make me have these feels T^T
Reply
:iconbellagbear:
BellaGBear Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is sosweet. The kimd of stuff that neede to be writtn sometimes to remmber how we should behav
Reply
:icontheweaveroftales:
theWeaverofTales Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
And you have successfully made me cry.
Reply
:iconscottman23:
Scottman23 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I tell her

I ask to see her eyes every day to see them gleam blue

I put my bible up to me and prey for her

I even want to buy her a ring to show I love her

Id die for her

She cries I cry

She shares me things I wouldnt tell a soul

It drives me mad that I cant kiss her lips

Every oppertunity I get id sing to her
Reply
:iconajinu-okami:
AJInu-Okami Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful ^^
Reply
:iconravennatheblackqueen:
Ravennatheblackqueen Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Student General Artist
Wow. Beautiful. 
Reply
:iconblackdog624:
BlackDog624 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
What beautiful Poetry. You've done well.
Reply
:icondoggirl2626:
Doggirl2626 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
This Makes me feel so much better about myself. Thank you.
Reply
:iconswan-swan:
swan-swan Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
Beautiful.
Reply
:iconcloakofcloves:
CloakOfCloves Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
idk I think most girls out there want someone to punch them in the shoulder and say, "Yo bro I have popcorn and Pacific Rim on dvd and a really smushy couch that I dunno, we could like, uh, sit on and make out or something."
I guess that doesn't make poetry, though, but tbh kaiju flicks over melodramatic chicks everytime.
Reply
:icontheweaveroftales:
theWeaverofTales Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I think a lot of girls want both, and more XD I suppose that's why we're rather confusing creatures...
Reply
:iconcloakofcloves:
CloakOfCloves Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014
Tru.
Reply
:icon109144:
109144 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha! I love this comment so much!XD But it really killed off the meaning of this! But who cares? Both work. Pffftt lmao still...
Reply
:iconcloakofcloves:
CloakOfCloves Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
I think you're right lmao; everyone picks the way they see obstacles and, uh, coping mechanisms.  =P No one can really judge a person for that, at least.
Reply
:iconpixelpal1131:
PixelPal1131 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Student Artist
I suppose you're not a girl, because your completely wrong.
Reply
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