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I don't want to say "I love you",
Because my words will make it real
Make my love for you actual
Palpable and ,worst of all, breakable.
My love would manifest itself
Like a sheet of glass between us
That you could shatter with
The slightest touch.
I don't want to say "I love you",
Because those words don't show
The truth to you
They don't show how important
You truly are to me
That I want to wake up every day
And fall asleep every night
With you by my side .
I don't want to say "I love you",
Because you might return
the same words to me.
And we would love together
Our hearts growing as one
But tragedy might strike
And you might be taken from me
Leaving me with half a heart
And no one say those three words to.
I don't want to say "I love you"
Because I do
I love you more than life itself
And that scares me.
But I'll say it
Because no matter how large my fears
Or small my worries
I want you to know
That "I love you".
This piece is stupid. I can't truly understand these feelings (i barely have a girlfriend right now) so i used the barest of my own understanding to create this piece and truthfully I think its crap but perhaps someone might like.
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:iconblakcirclegirl:
blakcirclegirl Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014   Photographer
Ay you're giving me chills! I'm loving what I'm reading so far! It's funny because I have yet to post any writing...it's hard enough to display my photography. So shy. lol. I'm not sure I have anything so beautifully written...but you're steeling my courage a bit more. Thank you.
Reply
:iconangel-fields:
Angel-Fields Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow! This is beautiful.  Even though you say you don't actually understand that kind of feeling, it's still reads as amazing and heartfelt, the same way it would if it was real.  I just wanted to say great job! : )
Reply
:icondarklover33:
DarkLover33 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014   Writer
This is so beautiful! I don't think this is stupid at all. Love is a very powerful and complicated force to try to explain or express but you really showed those emotions here very well. The uncertainty and fear of the future for that love if it turns badly, hope and vulnerability for being so in love. You have a really lovely style of writing and are very, very talented. Keep up the great work
Reply
:icon99fluffball:
99fluffball Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
...want to cry...
Reply
:iconsnazzie-designz:
snazzie-designz Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013   General Artist
Really, really beautiful even if you don't think so yourself.
Reply
:iconserenesouls27:
Serenesouls27 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Omg!!! These words, when I read them each and every one was very precious and I'm speechless along with being numb.
The feeling was so recognizable !
So I loved this poem even more ! ^^
Reply
:iconallison731:
allison731 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats, you got :iconwuvplz:  HEART Badge for your creation in :iconwhispermewish: group.
This is reward for all works which have these characteristics:
- High Quality :iconcheckmarkplz:
- Impressive, Unique, Recognizable :iconcheckmarkplz:
- Works which send a positive message :floating: :rose:  and where we can see or where we can feel: Love, Humanity, Friendship, Compassion, Tenderness, Care, Goodness ... :hug: :huggle: :tighthug: :heart::iconcheckmarkplz:

You can find your art in Badge-HEART group folder whispermewish.deviantart.com/g… and in Oct-Nov 2013-WMW Badge Winners journal fav.me/d6prclw
Your work has a chance to enter in our Gold Star Championship finale too where you can become our VIP privileged member (Winner) or get other nice prizes from us and gather more fame for yourself. (2nd, 3rd place) ;) Good luck. :iconcool-smileplz:
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:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013
cool I got like six of these now
Reply
:iconallison731:
allison731 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It is great. ;) You deserve all of them, your writing is wonderful. :heart:
Reply
:iconsoldierswolf:
SoldiersWolf Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I definitely get where you're coming from. Been there plenty of times.
Reply
:iconalyssastehle:
AlyssaStehle Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this poem is really dry.  Just straight up saying whats you're feeling instead of showing abstract thoughts.  Your readers aren't idiots.  Show Don't Tell.  
Reply
:iconauthorofthings:
authorofthings Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013
it's nice
Reply
:iconsparkinum:
Sparkinum Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I immediately favorited after reading... However, I request one thing: Please fix the "Becuase". It typed like that every single time ;_; Other than that, great piece of writing~
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013
Alright fixed (sorry i don't have spell check). Thank you and i'm glad you enjoyed the poem.
Reply
:iconsonic8chilidog:
sonic8chilidog Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh wow... You hurt my feels just a little with that one, I can totally relate. I'm still afriad to get into any relationship at all though...
I really like this
Reply
:iconleodormouse:
LeoDormouse Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
What ? How can you 'barely' have a girlfriend ?
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
ha idk ask her
Reply
:iconleodormouse:
LeoDormouse Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
you what ? Are you with her or not .-. ?
(if you don't mind me asking ^^;)
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
I'm the type of guy that lets the girl lead the relationship. And she's the type of girl who you never know how well or how badly the relationship is going. Leads to alot of confusions and weird situations, but i do really like her.
Reply
:iconleodormouse:
LeoDormouse Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
God... Not at all like me ^^;
I'm the type who always asks if everything is fine, always tries to see how it is going and all...
But I hope it will keep on well for you :)
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
:D i do too
Reply
:iconmrhungry56:
mrhungry56 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
I think this is quite good, and I would recommend you not preface your work with negativity. If you really think it's crap, I would suggest not posting it until you work through the issues you have with it. Otherwise, you are probably insecure as to how it will be perceived by others and want to set the bar low so as to not be upset when people trash it.

I've found the Deviants here to be very kind in their assessments, and rarely do I find someone trashing anyone's work (as long as it's 'theirs' and not stolen). So please, keep writing, and learn from comments that you receive and that will help you grow as a writer.

"I can't truly understand the feelings I have, since I barely have a girlfriend right now, but I used what basic understanding I have to create this piece. I only hope someone else out there can relate to it, and understand how I feel as I write."

Maybe you, or someone else, can improve upon that, but I just wanted to give an example of putting a more positive approach to your work. Again, I thought it was good, and thoughtfully done.
Reply
:iconephixus:
Ephixus Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
For having to read this it torments me greatly -_- I'm going through a tough relationship, and this clarifies my stupid emotions in every way. . . so, thank you for writing this.
Reply
:iconrafaelamccyloud:
RafaelaMccyloud Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
It's really good. I love it.
Reply
:icondyskodelthunderback:
DyskoDelThunderback Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Dude. YES!!!!
Reply
:iconrenval:
Renval Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is how I feel right now, and I've only recently been able to say those three words out loud.
Reply
:iconnothingbutjournals:
NothingButJournals Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Pack your bags kids, we're going on a feels trip.
Reply
:iconelizabethstarling:
Elizabethstarling Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Beautiful <3
Reply
:iconkushamisaru:
kushamisaru Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't think this piece is stupid at all. I think it's beautiful :) and relatable
Reply
:iconmatthewkoon:
MatthewKoon Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Why bash yourself? I think it's great. I love you can be the three hardest words you ever say, or the three you NEED to say... Brings back memories :P
Reply
:iconelixiahatake:
ElixiaHatake Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
It's Beautiful....
Reply
:iconjhyre:
jhyre Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i think it's really good, a little misunderstanding at first, but i get the point of it
Reply
:iconbitteryetsweet:
bitteryetsweet Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Is this a poem or a song? Dammit, I sound a little Shakespearean.

Saying "I love you" is the last thing I want to say.
Reply
:iconslipmaskin:
Slipmaskin Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Is there supposed to be a "to" in between "no one" and "say" in "And no one say those three words to"? ^^

I can understand your fear. When your true feelings really are out there in the open, the possibility of your love being broken suddenly exists. However, waiting is no good. Life is a game and if you bet on it you can hit the jackpot and attain happiness. If you don't play at all the chances of winning are and will forever be zero. You just gotta go for it.

This poem is all rambling, but it's still quite nice. The end, however, sounds a bit, I don't know, perhaps rushed. It feels like the conclusion came too fast, and that makes me wonder if it wouldn't look better either without it or if there were even more rambling that slowly built up towards that end.
Reply
:icondarkrukia91:
DarkRukia91 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Wow, thats really beautiful. I don't think its crap at all, whatever is written from the heart isnt crap, its your deepest and true feelings. And I know how you feel too lol
Reply
:iconannie--chan:
Annie--chan Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this.
Reply
:iconall-my-luuuuuuuuck:
All-My-Luuuuuuuuck Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful!
Reply
:iconellen-grieves:
ellen-grieves Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You got a typo up there dear, "Becuase" > Because.
Reply
:iconsorbetberry:
SorbetBerry Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist
it's not crap! it's really good! I especially like the ending :) sad but poignant!
Reply
:iconkinkydivers:
kinkyDivers Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Seriously Its Good and Real..
If this is the barest of your understanding .. you are wise
Use it well to protect yourself but hide.
Reply
:iconacaciaz:
acaciaz Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
This is actually really good! ::D:
Reply
:icondaisybtoes:
daisybtoes Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013   General Artist
Awwwwwwwwwwwww....... :(
Reply
:iconsadiemouse:
SadieMouse Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
it hurts, but also feels good
Reply
:iconlescaryfemme:
LeScaryFemme Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
I like it. Its true.
Reply
:iconpisces--dreamer:
Pisces--Dreamer Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I had the same fears... But we didn't say it... Because it didn't need to be said, it was shown. Love will manifest itself whether you speak of it, or simply think it. And it's beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconpsyconeko159:
PsycoNeko159 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
This is everything I have ever felt about love in one beautifully written piece. How you ever managed to bring to light so precisely that feeling, I will never know, but I will say this: Thank you so much for being able to put into words what I was never able to say. :)
Reply
:iconrohithela:
rohithela Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This does strikes the cords of our hearts :love:
Reply
:iconplasmatheechidna:
plasmatheechidna Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
awww this is so adorable!
Reply
:iconrandomsnailfactor:
randomsnailfactor Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This pretty much describes the relationship with my boyfriend and I.. this piece is awesome!
Reply
:iconshoujo-slytherin:
Shoujo-Slytherin Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Student Writer
My sheet of glass is nothing but dust now...
Reply
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