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I want to live in a world without God
Without  the dream of Heaven
Or simple fear of Hell,
Without the love of one
Who would be so willing
To destroy under the pretense
Of a higher meaning,
Without commandments
Oppresively stopping me
From even simply lying
Even if its to myself,
To my own heart and mind
Or loving someone completely
Since he'll rip them away from me
To appease his own jealousy
Without the punishment of death
A testament to the cruelty
Of  this so called Saviour
Who would allow us to live
To fight  our battles
In a bitter world of his own design
While leaving us with
The complete certainity
That the war has already been lost .
Without the cruelty of pain
That builds with the progression of life
Mounts after every year
Attacks after every second.
I instead want to live in a world
Molded within my own selfishness
One without  children sitting on the streets
With arms so thin
They aren't be able pick up
The bread you try to hand to them.
Without doctors waiting patiently outside
For the tears in your eyes to stop
While you grip lifeless hands.
Without  having to pop a pill every hour
Just so you can take the pain away
Even if its only momentary
Even if  you know the pain is still there
Waiting behind the murky haze.
Without pretentious pastors and priests
Telling you  "Your an abmoniation"
That you've lost your chance at Heaven
Becuase you've chosen to love.

I want to live in a world without God
Without fear
Without pain,
And in this world though i  may lose my faith
Lose my hope
Lose my soul,
I'm sure I'd find my happiness
And that's enough.
OMG i can feel the religious debate and attack comments before i even submit this. I wanted to add a cover but i couldn't find anything that remotely fit this theme. This was partially inspired but yet another Regina Spektor song. I hope people are still willing to favorite this (if they believe its good) even if you don't necessarily agree with what i wrote. (ALSO I don't believe in any religion and don't feel like being converted). Hope everyone enjoys.
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:iconsupersayian5naruto:
SuperSayian5Naruto Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I like the poem u have written but, you should want God to be with u for eternity. Just saying, just my voice and opinion. Im not trying to tell u religion u should go with. Im just saying God is the one who u should worship more than anything. he is the perfect one. Some ppl i understand that they dont know about God. Some dont care about God because they havent been taught anything about him in their entire lives. 

I like what you done, I just cant agree with the title thats all. i understood the title when i thought and focused a little more on it.
i think is You think you can do things without God's help or something like that u guess. Idk i just was basing my opinion. Dont take this so seriously.  I am not trying to offend, hurt, cuss, criticize, or judge here. Like I said a billions times I am just bassing my opinion on what i think of the poem. Thats all ^_^
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:iconsamoojatar:
samoojatar Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013
I think everyone wants to live in a world without pain that's the reason is being called "pain". But without pain there would be no joy or happiness either...

Beautiful work (as always ^^). 
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:iconjarredspekter:
jarredspekter Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Um...even if God exists (which I believe he does) all this would be around anyway.

What you're really saying is 
'I wish I lived in a world where I was God'

Be more specific.
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:iconzuky2001:
Zuky2001 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing poem. But my personal belief is that our pain, our fear and the ways we choose to overcome them and face the future are what truly makes us who we are. So I don't quite agree with the last stanza. It's still very emotional and well written just remember when you are writing things like this that good souls tend to come form the worst of places. Apart from that suggestion amazing work and I'm so watching u<3<3
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:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013
Well thank you for sharing your opinion and for liking the poem. (and for the watch :D). Glad you enjoyed it.
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:icongary-thedreamingpoet:
Gary-thedreamingpoet Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Professional Writer
Reminded me of John Lennon's "Imagine". Nicely done my poet friend. :)
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:iconlladawongll:
llAdaWongll Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I believe in God, but still a good poem. Beautiful... Great Job!!!
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:iconnot-an-emo-girl942:
not-an-emo-girl942 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow. I love this. It's so powerful and I can't even find the right words to describe it. Fabulous job. :)
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:iconrandomradish7:
RandomRadish7 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm a Christian, and I believe in God and Jesus, but this poem is beautiful. (Besides the fact that you don't want God haha :) ) But yet, God isn't like that. He loves us all and the punishment we get is caused by our sins. It's our evil sinful nature, and God weeps for us. But I won't yell at you, in fact that's completely against our belief so I apologize if any Christians yell at you. We're supposed to show non Christians the kindness of a loving Savior, and reflect him in all that we do. But anyways sorry I'm rambling on. Have a nice day :D
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:iconrigel4:
Rigel4 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013
You've got agreement here.
Reply
:iconpeter-the-knotter:
Peter-The-Knotter Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Student Artisan Crafter
My response to your poem is here: [link]
btw: check out my artist's comments... the cover you seek is there....
With my compliments!, enjoy! (I hope...?), Peter
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:icondragone04:
dragone04 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013
nice poem, and very controversial ^^
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:iconmetasactreon:
MetasActReon Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a beautiful poem. I am more of a scientific person myself with little religious beliefs, so I am not going to attack you, so, rest easy. I do not agree with you, but you're stand is understandable in this poem. It is a remarkable creation, so it has earned my fave.
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:iconlove-hate-math:
Love-Hate-Math Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Student General Artist
This is a beautiful idea. I am not christian, but do have a religion of sorts. It's more of just a daily 'be nice and not egotistical' really I love the meaning of this. Great job, don't let dem haters get you down. :)
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:iconladyskyblue:
LadySkyBlue Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I can relate to this, you wrote this in a very beautiful way.
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:iconpoipoi13:
PoiPoi13 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I Felt like reading my own thoughts written in a calm and beautiful way.
Reply
:iconedge-of-psychosis:
edge-of-psychosis Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I really wish people could just read a piece without feeling the need to comment on your beliefs and why they disagree with them. I don't feel that you submitted this to start a debate but rather to get feedback on the writing and it's annoying that people keep doing that.
Anyway. There are spelling and grammar errors here but they could be fixed easily enough with spell check and maybe having someone proofread it. Other than that, I love this. It's so heartfelt and I can totally relate to it, because it perfectly describes a large part of the reason why I stopped being Christian.
I find it a little ironic to read I instead want to live in a world molded within my own selfishness because you then go on to be incredibly selfless in describing the things you wish could happen. You seem like a person who has great compassion for others and I think that's beautiful.
:heart:
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:iconostentatious-alms:
ostentatious-alms Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Its because her work was so evoking that people are commenting like this. Regardless of how its interpreted by others, the comments should be seen as a compliment because it effectively evoked a reaction.
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:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013
Haha thanks for the compliments but ummm i'm a guy ;P
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:iconostentatious-alms:
ostentatious-alms Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oooops! Lol sorry!
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:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013
No prob :D
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:iconedge-of-psychosis:
edge-of-psychosis Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That is true. I just saw in her description that she wasn't interested in being preached to or converted and I've seen a few comments attempting to do that, which is what I meant. As for general discussion that is definitely a compliment.(:
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:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013
Hahaha thanks for the compliments and the recognition as to what i truly wanted when i submitted this piece but .... I'm a guy. :nuu:
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:iconedge-of-psychosis:
edge-of-psychosis Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh goodness, I'm sorry. Haha.
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:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013
No prob :D
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:iconounmaskedo:
ounmaskedo Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013
sounds like someone is sick and tired of constantly criticizing and being criticised ...i'm fine with that ..you definitely got a good poem out of it ..but blaming god , religion and your own inability to take care of yourself ....oh well your not the only one ...millions or rather billions would blame others rather than themselves....though i dont blame you or anyone else for that ...but its still kinda sad. others taking more criticism for your own weakness...
still like the poem though ..well love it would be more exact ..
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:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013
I'm glad you loved the poem. And towards the top part of your comment, yes it is blaming someone else but not on my inability to take care of myself, but his unwillingness to take care of those who have lost the ability to take care of themselves. And the pain and sadness his unwillingness generates. It is possible that we ourselves could save them, but the world has become an unforgiving place and their are always those who who would instead hurt them. I just simply believed if their was a God he could change things, we can't change ourselves. So yes the poem blames him instead of humanity, but no matter what i find them both at fault.
(Hope i didn't make too many mistake in writing this)
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:iconounmaskedo:
ounmaskedo Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013
its definetly an intresting view point ...one single man cant take care of everyone....but those who cant take the cruel world are the ones worthy of helping..also wouldnt life be uninstresting if everyone had been given everything they ever wanted...would there be anything other than love to wright about?

(about the mstakes in wrighting ..google helps )
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:iconlouisdragon109:
louisdragon109 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Inspiring
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:iconvlk1993:
VLK1993 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
People in india worships cows, people in japan worships the sun, the nature, people in china go to pagoda and temple praying for good luck...
Just because 80% of americans is religious doesn't mean there is a god in this world. I can't prove or disprove the chance of a higher being out there but from all evidence i have seen, you are live in the world you have always wanted, but the society and the people keep you down. That world you are talking about, isn't far you know, you can just change your country, to see different places worshiping different gods, or in my case - none, and yet they are still happy with it. You are fine to do and believe what you want, really...
Except the fact that certain people trying to "convert", it won't work especially on the internet with all the b.s (belief system) shouting.
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:iconbellemaske:
BelleMaske Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Holy cow... No pun intended. This poem is magnificent. It also really screams what I've been feeling for a long time. These are exactly the problems I have with religion, and I hate that my mom wishes she'd "done a better job" with taking me to church so that I'd have more peace of mind. I love her, but she doesn't realize that it would do the opposite for me. Anyway, love this piece!
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:icondimetrosrcool:
DimetrosRCool Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Dem feels man. this is great. i never thought i would see something like this on DA. you are so brave for doing this. :)
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:iconcoop-eh:
Coop-EH Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
As a girl who really tried to be a part of a religion (two, in fact) and never felt that she could believe in it or was accepted, I totally get this.

My mom is Jewish and my dad is Protestant (we have a mess of different Christian branches in his family tree, but he and his mother I believe are Protestant.) So they tried to teach me about each and let me decide on my own which I liked better...but in reality religion is what's torn my family apart.
My father's relatives (with the exception of very few) are attempting to disown me for not siding with Catholic/7th Day/Protestant beliefs, and my mother's family used to enjoy regularly shaming me for not siding with the Jewish faith. I have been told I will burn and rot in Hell for my lack of faith by my own family. I was consistently shamed for "rejecting my heritage" and "spitting on" my ancestors who lost their lives to concentration camps during the Holocaust. Many of the other religious persons I have gone to when questioning my life and love and belief have done nothing but give disapproving looks and further informed me of just how much time I'll be spending in flames when I die.
I can completely relate to this poem, being that without religion maybe all of those people (who, when not bickering about beliefs that they refuse to even hear in discussion, are quite interesting) could stop hurting and shaming others in the name of their God...

Whoops, that got lengthy....so, TLDR edition: I really love and identify with this piece and, with the few typo corrections others have pointed out, it will be even better!
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:iconbellemaske:
BelleMaske Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm really sorry about that. You shouldn't be pressured to join any/either side. There is nothing for you to be ashamed of. :hug:
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:iconcoop-eh:
Coop-EH Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks. It's difficult stuff to come to terms with for anyone, but it's the kind of thing everyone has to feel and figure out on their own. It makes me impossibly sad that there's even application for the word "sides" in the subject, but that is an ugly truth of this world and life.

That post got a bit personal, and I'd like to apologize because I didn't mean anything other than trying to explain my connection by it (this being posted in the event that someone misinterprets my original comment). At any rate, I got a bit carried away, but only because this piece made me feel something that strongly. Kudos to the author once more!
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:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013
Hahaha no need to apologize. I'm so glad my piece resonated so deeply with you :D
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:iconlilfixit:
lilfixit Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
"They aren't be able pick up" needs to be fixed.

Don't mean to attack you, I agree that there are quite a few religions against homosexuality (since you said for choosing to love I figure that's what you're talking about), but I think a world without God wouldn't be much better. Mankind always picks on the deviants and minorities.
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:iconradioidiot:
RadioIdiot Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
By any chance, was the Regina Spektor song called 'Blue Lips'??
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:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013
Oh so close :D. Same album and i was planning to do that song next, but no. It was "Laughing With"
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:iconradioidiot:
RadioIdiot Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahhh, at least I was close. Very good job though, I quite liked it.
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:iconcorky-tan:
Corky-tan Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013
I understand to a point, I suppose. But honestly, if I was completely positive that there was no God, I'd probably make much less of an effort to be a good person than I do now.
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:iconhiawolf:
hiawolf Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Fear is a storyteller, dreams give us will...The Human is complex, and it takes tremendous skill to even begin to comprehend what we are. I really loved your poem, it was very well written and beautiful. I believe, everyone is different, and must follow their own journey.
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:iconkawaii-turtle:
kawaii-turtle Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The fanatics are my biggest problem. I'll live the life I choose to live, not because someone thinks that's the only way one should live. I don't mind if people are Muslim or Christian or whatever else is out there as long they respect my views and let me be. The fanatics don't though and that's the reason for my frustration.

Of course I have other things that I can't seem to wrap my mind, but the fanatics just emotionally exhaust me. I wonder when the fanatical Christians decided they ruled the world.
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:icongeotrixqueen:
GeotrixQueen Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Student General Artist
That's a bit offensive sounding, honestly. Most Christians are the complete opposite spectrum of "fanatics."

They've been getting hit with abuse while other oppressive religions and beliefs get a get out of jail free card.
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:iconkawaii-turtle:
kawaii-turtle Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't intend anything to be offensive but I can never seem to talk about religion without ever offending anyone. I thought just defining to just the fanatics would help but apparently that isn't the case. The few fanatics I have met ruin it for me. Maybe I'm too sensitive as a person. I don't have any problems with Christians in general. I wouldn't hate someone for just being Christian or even stating so, but at the same time I have other Christians looking down on me because the way I worship is "too boring/a snorefest" or "not the right way" or even "satanic" when I'm also Christian. Just because it's not the same as their way, it's somehow wrong.

I have to avoid saying what I believe in if I don't want to hear the backlash from other Christians and I don't understand why it has to be that way. Christians are just who I find myself dealing with.

I'm just speaking from experience and that will always be biased.
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:icongeotrixqueen:
GeotrixQueen Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Student General Artist
I don't mind you speaking your opinion. It's a free internet (hopefully). It's just that I hear stories of several Christians being attacked for wearing a cross, or not supporting an action due to their faith, and being labeled horribly for it.

It hurts calling them "fanatics". Organizations like Westboro may claim Christianity, but have nothing to do with teachings.

I hope I didn't offend you. :(
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:iconkawaii-turtle:
kawaii-turtle Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Christianity is really broad. Almost anyone can call themselves Christian, especially in this day and age. I try to be tolerant but my experiences from other Christians just kind of hurts too. It just makes me angry about religion because I feel like I don't have the freedom, especially if I have to hide my faith.

I haven't heard those stories outside of history though, where one would be killed for being Protestant or Catholic depending on the ruler.

I don't know what else to call them though. Everyone that ever made comments about what my faith is always seemed fanatical about their faith, and I will admit that even people in my own faith do the same thing, and I also consider them fanatics because I'm sure they do the same thing to other people of other faiths.

And your comment could have been way worse. I'm still a little worked up but I'll get over it.
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:icongeotrixqueen:
GeotrixQueen Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Student General Artist
(Same here. Frenemies then? C:)
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:iconkawaii-turtle:
kawaii-turtle Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds like a deal. X3
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:icongeotrixqueen:
GeotrixQueen Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Student General Artist
:3

:paranoid: :hug: :paranoid:
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