Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

:iconcrumbledwings: More from CrumbledWings

Featured in Collections

Literature by jaredftw

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
July 12


3,584 (2 today)
441 (who?)


Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
I hate being a writer
yet I love it too
though such ambiguous feelings
cannot be explained so simply... 
I loathe the unsterilized ink
which continually poisons my veins
and pumps from an all too emotional heart
yet when this ink is set free
breathed from my syringe of a quill
I'm assailed by such a breathtaking sense
of relief and release that I forget
and become intoxicated on my own vile.
I abhor my blank eyes
which so incoherently delude me 
as to what is real
that I am faced continually
with the realization that reality 
will never be enough for me
and yet these blank eyes are the same
on which I paint such beautiful fantasies
and experiences which I faithfully adore.
I detest the imagination 
which hosts menial plays with 
unwritten roles and spitfire lines
and asks me to fill the holes 
which it had so easily forgotten
and yet I follow my role in this play
grabbing my shovel each night 
and faithfully working to fill each hole which
the imagination left so lovingly empty for me
and feeling 
as though I'd never worked a day in my life.
And finally I hate the story
the lyrics, the play, the ideals, the plot
which continually entrap and drown me
in their decadence and solitude
unwilling to set me free,
unwilling to let me show my heart and soul
in any colors besides black and white
and to the patient
and yet 
and yet
I love watching every scribble
of my chosen font
flow from my inky veins, hyperbolic heart
empty eyes and detestable imagination
till before me lays a portrait
of black and white
which has become 
the truest image of me.
I thought about making this about all types of artists ( I really did! for those wonderful visual artists who felt jipped) but I found I couldn't accurately describe why you might love and hate your talent because I don't completely understand it and for that I apologize that I couldn't empathize with you all better, though I hope all artists can relate. Look at this as personal declaration of unearned self pity. Hope that I properly displays what other writers feel as well as myself. And sorry if you don't like the language, I felt this one needed some hyperbolic flowery language so I switched styles for this one.
Add a Comment:
tommyboywood Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Almost flawless, just change till to 'til (unless of course you're planting a garden. :)  )
Noratcat Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014
This so relates to me as a writer.
MrNuclearPsychopath Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is the true essence of the relationship between an artist and his art. Stumbling, falling, but you keep rising up again, only to be trampled on once more. But why do you continue?
Because this is who you are and that's who you'll always be. You may be insecure, depressed, mournful, and melancholy, but the way we express these feelings defines us all. Everytime we draw our feelings, our souls are transferred little by little, giving us more hope for each piece we draw. Knowing life will get better. Even those who are succesful, transfer their feelings to each piece to give it mood, and life.
Arianne10 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2014  Student General Artist
Heart i love it :)
I'm still beginning to write and I can feel some of your lines. :')
luthien-surion Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is amazing. Simply wonderful. 

THIS is how I feel about writing, and art in general. 
Nathaira-From-Hel Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This. Is. Truly. Wonderful. A masterpiece. There is so much said in these verses and I am not able to put it into words and sentences though I'm a writer, too. I just have to say how lovely this is. You did a great job in that!
HoshisamaValmor Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2014
this is really, really well written and puts down in words a whole reality that is so hard to try and describe. 
VickyStrife Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It was beautiful and one of the truest text I've ever read^^ I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this...
PhabiannThePoet Featured By Owner Edited Jul 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I know them feels sister.
Tomoyo Sakagami (Crying) [V3] 
CommanderFlynn Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yep, I feel this on so many levels...
the struggle is real for budding writers lately ;_; 
Add a Comment: