It appears you don't have PDF support in this web browser. Download PDF
I love the rhythm this poem has. I get the image of a weary soul looking for a safe home. It's bitter sweet message resounds with me. I like the simplicity of it, and can't help but be reminded of the great Shel Silverstein. This too breaks down complicated subject to their basic components. Relaying deep emotional pain with sense of dark humor. That allows the reader to laugh at their own heart break.
I would have written all this in a critique, but it wasn't a hundred words. I didn't want to just ramble to make it so either.
however I really enjoyed your work and since you described it as weak, thought I might give you an honest un biased opinion.