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January 21, 2013
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Is It Wrong To Lose Hope by CrumbledWings Is It Wrong To Lose Hope by CrumbledWings

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The awesome cover image done by :devimprinsesa: . It took a good two days to come with this piece with the correct emotive feel and about an hour of word changes. It came out short but (hopefully) emotionally breathtaking. I came up with the idea when i realized i had never written a piece about pure depression. Hope everyone enjoys :D
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:icona7xfan666:
A7XFan666 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
Amazing word flow wow. I wish I could write like you
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:icontheheek:
theheek Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
amazing ly writtten
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:iconcorporalcornbread:
CorporalCornbread Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope it's not wrong, for I wish for escape every waking minute... Every point that you made in this rang true, for me at least, and it's nice to see my emotions put into words... So for that, thank you~
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:iconisuzu97:
Isuzu97 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Student General Artist
I'm not very good with words, but you obviously are, your poem is very beautiful, in a sad way, I like this poem, though obviously do not like depression, I feel your sorrow, and yet I am sure I just couldn't imagine...
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:icondparparita:
dparparita Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't think anyone can enjoy a poem about depression, not one done so well that it captures the feeling perfectly. Depression is depressing. It can't be enjoyed, but your poem is touching. It has just the right feel to it and your choice of words is perfect.
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:iconckdreamer:
CKDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's not wrong to WANT to give up.
I want to, every waking hour of the day :D
It's wrong to actually give up :).
So I'm only happy in my sleep...
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:iconpaniparanoja:
paniparanoja Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
those craks look really good :-) interesting pic
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:iconssjgoku10:
SSJGOKU10 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013
Indeed, it's very awesome!
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:iconxclt:
xclt Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013
Thank you shadowsoflosthope. As someone who lives with severe chronic pain, I hope you will allow me to tell you of my story. First I must thank you for your work in bringing to light an unknown and ofter misunderstood subject of " Pure Pain and Pure Depression'. I at this moment feel that the greatest complement to your work, would be to describe "my" pain for you have touched my heart. My name is xclt, and on April 8th 2009 I was beaten and crushed by a 5-600 pound sign. I did not cry nor did I show how defeated and beaten I was. I at the time believed in a couple of months I'd be going back to work. But after a painful shoulder repair ,the surgeries kept coming, 1-2-5-7. first 3 surgeries left shoulder, both elbows twice, both hands twice and one finger on each hand, 7 surgeries, plus, damage to my lower back and neck and and slight crack to top of head. . The pain from the beginning only became worse. The depression had buried itself deep into me. With each surgery I believed that I would get better, but it only became worse. One day I would feel good, the next I'd pray for death, something I tried so hard to do. Then would come Hope, encouraging words, doctors the many would assure me ,"just give it a little more time". Sleep even with the pain meds and the sleeping meds and the mood enhancement meds. (they found a way to give depression a kind name) I knew not when sleep would come. you feel so alone and ashamed to talk to others as if not getting better was your fault. "your not doing as the doctors ask, your not trying, your not believing in God, your not wanting to be happy, all the words that would cut thru your heart. People shy away. I started hiking again this year as my 7th was in Dec. 2010 it had become a Cat and Mouse game, with me the mouse. One day bitten and chewed and the next feed hope and happiness. the cat not allowing me to die. After awhile you would welcome the pain when it came quicker,and lasted longer, not allowing more time for hope. Sadly you come the love the Cat. This summer when hiking, I realized I could do my own repairs on the local main park trails.. I felt better, about myself,I seem to matter. One then two big repairs, people would thank me and after more questions they were proud of me. "Good job,Richard",I would welcome the onslaught of pain as the day went on. No more surprise attacks, I was in control of my 8or 9,10 pain, I had won. on my 6th repair in Red Rock Canyon, I was so happy and so tired , the hike up the valley was one mile up. Eight medications now, to help "try"and stop the pain. Getting injection's often, blocks, epidurals, Not a day went by wishing to give up, lose hope. I looked normal to all and in my mirror, but every month I had these doctors and therapist reminding me I am broken, never to be the same. this last Thanksgiving (November2012) I gave up. I hiked a ridge line back to my Jeep, very steep on one side, I found the worst part and tripped. I hit one eye as I tumbled into a boulder, still tumbling I hit my forehead,on another boulder. It felt as if I had cracked my head in half, I continued to tumble but at about 40 feet the boulders had beaten me enough to stop me. When about a short time later I was sitting. I tried to touch my head as I wasn't sure if it was still there. Blood filled my hand so much it never making it to my head. Somewhat awake I felt my right eye closing up and saw all the cuts on my arms, but I did not cry, or scream for help. I just Laughed. The Cat was back. I hiked out and on the main trail, I sat and waited for someone, but I was hoping to bleed out. The doctors at the hospital said I should be dead or in a comma for sure. I started to heal in the first week, fast so very fast. Christmas I started hiking again and haven't stopped. More pain, now morphine daily that only tries. I feel good, happy, always waiting for the Cat. I tease him now, 2-3 times a week I climb to places I am almost sure I will fall, When I fall again, I've planned to land where no one will find me. The Cat will not let me die, but I will surly be so broken, he will watch me die slowly, trying to play but with loss of hope I'll just smile.. Find me on my site. I work so hard to leave smile's and be happy so that I will be remembered as such a happy person.. For me ,its not wrong to loss hope, I must be special. But for all others fight for me, try for me, you will be safe, for I will take the Cat with me..........I truly will be a Deviant for that will be my best work.....So sorry but, I can only talk from my heart............injections today, something went wrong,so very painful, hard to walk, simply surgery coming Thursday, two months, Big surgery..Yeah!!!.......ask me anything............xclt.deviant.com.....shadowsoflosthope,do as you will of this note,I will not look for it. I know the story, but Thank you so very,very much, sorry but that WAS the short version......your all so wonderful...........................................................................xc
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