WriteByNumbersFeatured By OwnerAug 9, 2012Hobbyist Writer
This reminds me of a piece I wrote about the last man on earth. It has this same meaning, the same type of feel. That "holding your breath" kind of sentiment, like you're standing on a cliff, overlooking a world that has nothing left to give or take. So alone, so small, waiting, anxious almost, to be lost and forgotten with the rest of the turning earth. This is a very lovely summary of that feeling...good job, once more.
God, you got popular fast. Lucky. Also, happy birthday.
I don't get the theme. While it seems like people are killing each other and God feels sad over their deaths and the fate they chose for themselves, it still doesn't give me much background, why was the day beautiful, there were to survivors... it was a bit confusing
I am not being overly analytical. I am telling what I perceived. I felt that a deeper meaning was poorly put (the less backdrop) thus I went for the literal meaning since otherwise it was just random expressions to me. Also that is my opinion, not a fact. I consider all poems the same way so that is all I had to say.
Well if u specifically want a critique then u must be premium member. If u want to become a premium member u must either pay for a certain time or win a contest in which it is one of the prizes (or someone can just give you it). Other than that yeah you can do that.
ok thanks also i read some of your other poems their very well thought out and put together (the next part only from what I have read) i find that your theme focus a lot on strife hopelessness and sadness try opening up your theme area i can tell you would be good in other areas (such as love hope and happiness) p.s. try some inner conflict poetry as well (this is poetry that involves a conflict within a persons mind, can also be influenced by outside factors though) if im wrong about this and you do have different themed poetry posted please tell me where i can find this -Sincerely,A.
I do write some different theme poems check Achitanza Dove Conversation Dream Hope But you are my poems usually stick to the overall theme of sadness, insanity, and the faults of humanity. Its not that i can't do other themes its just they don't fit me.