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Just For A SecondPlease can you imagine for me
just for a second...
Both of us...
That's all I dream about
I don't have the imagination
To think of the specifics
Like how it would happen
What we'd be like together
Why we'd be happy
But when I let myself dream
I imagine us...
And while I know
You don't dream about me
You don't know me
Or whether I can truly
Make you happy...
I want you to imagine that
Just for a second,
And tell me if I can try
To make it real.
Can We Just PretendHey...
Can we just pretend ?
Like we did when we were kids?
I can pretend to be strong
And use these twigs
To build a mansion for you
So large and beautiful
That you'll have everything you need.
I can pretend to be smart
And I'll teach you new things every day
Gently widening you eyes
To the world around you.
I can pretend to be a musician
Your own private concerto
Sing lullabies to you each night
With the few notes I know.
I can pretend to be funny
And have a witty criticism
For all the things you dislike
And sweetly teasing you
Till you gift me with your smile.
I can pretend be wise
Have an answer for all your problem
And advice that never fails.
I can pretend to be a cook
And delicately create
Mudpies for you to eat
As though they were gourmet meals.
I can pretend to be someone I'm not
Someone who's beautiful or amazing or kind
Someone who won't let you down
Someone who won't break your heart
Someone who can give you everything
You could ever want
Could I Send You The StarsCan I send you the stars?
A million twinkling lettters
Waiting above your head each night to be read
In gentle melody like midnight lullabies
For the girl I dearly wish could hear them.
Can I borrow your moon?
I know without it your nights may feel empty
But I envy its lovely radiance shining
Upon those two eyes
I wish I could see wish I could gaze into
So instead could I borrow your Moon?
And gaze into it hoping I'll find the loveliness
Of your eyes there instead.
Could I steal your Sun?
And pocket it's millions
And millions of memories
Of lightly caressing you with its rays
Knowing the feel of every beautifully delicate
Part of you for every day of every year..
Could I lease your dreams?
And reside there with you
Underneath our stars' gentle lullabies
And beneath the Moon's loving gaze
Away from the Sun's prying rays
Since you're all I really need.
So could I send you the stars
And hope they'll send my love too?
Hate Sleeping AloneEach night
I lay in bed...
Letting my covers
Try to keep me warm
Though they're never
As warm as your arms.
Letting my dreams
Try to soothe me
Into a deathly calm
Though they're never
As calming as your
Letting hundreds of sheep
Try to caress my eyes
To finally close
Though they shall never
In the way your gentle hand
In mine will.
And while the covers may try
They will never fill the place
Where you slept beside me.
My dreams will never
Fill the emptiness left
Without your breathe.
The sheep will never
Lift me away
Like the comfort of knowing
That your near me
And that you
Will be the first thing I see
When I wake
And each night I stay awake
Because without you
I'd rather not sleep.
Bag Of DreamsI once knew a boy
Who carried his dreams on his back
And kept them together
In a burlap sack,
Which he hoisted
Usually in the same way
That he came,
With a bag full of dreams
A back full of pain
And with nowhere left to stay.
Though so small
carried it all
Without a single complaint,
While his legs seemed to stall
And continually tried to fall
At every bump in the road.
But on the boy walked
He could not be stopped
On his quest to keep his dreams.
So to help him along
I sang him a song
And so sweet
It became a lullaby
And slowly shut his eyes
So he could finally go to sleep.
And while he slept on the ground
I made not a sound
While I approached the burlap sack,
I made small tear
So some dreams
Could escape, if they dare.
I just wanted to help
That bag was too heavy
For any boy to wear.
I knew this
This I did.
So when he awoke
And started to choke
As he realized
That his dreams were gone
They had long since died,
You Gave Me A StarLast night you gave me a star
A resplendent little light
You made it a surprise
Hiding it behind your thumb all night
So I wouldn't notice
The new twinkle
In our night's sky
"Without further ado"
You whispered to me
As you showed me
Our own little island
In a sea of darkness and wonder.
"Make a wish"
you smiled bashfully
"Its your star after all"
And I wished
I wished a million times
On that tiny light
That one day
I might be able to give you
All the stars in our sky.
I Spent All My HappinessI spent all my happiness
All those years of saving
Are now useless
As I look
At this heart shaped piggy bank
With nothing inside.
I had changed venues
Tried to hide
All my happiness in you
Thinking maybe you wouldn't notice
The few coins
I stored in your smile
Or the bills hidden in each hug
And the fortunes in each kiss.
I spent all my happiness
Thousand by thousand
For each small butterfly
I felt tingle in my being
Till I finally went bankrupt.
I spent all my happiness
Every single drop
Has been given unto you
And I know
Every investment in you
Is completely worth it
As long as
I can still glimpse your smile.
Forgetting The SkyI look down
After doing it so long
I fear that I don't have the stength
To even lift my head again
But no, I too scared to test
If I can truly look above
But I also fear
That one day I'll forget
That I'll forget the sea of deep blue
With oddly shaped fluffy
White dolphins and whales
Swiming round the bright continent
As its center
Or deep purple of a dark canvas
Lit only by the laterns drawn on its surface
Burning the hopes and wishes of millions
And the illuminating center
Radiating pure white light onto our dreams
All waiting patiently above my head
I fear that one day
I'll forget how exactly to lift my head
If not just to see where I'm going
If I'm heading forward
Or if I'm even moving at all.
But as these fears collect
I still stare down
At my feet
At the ground
At anything beneath
For these are the only things
I can aspire towards,
That I can depend on
Though I loved it
Fought to reach it
Drowned myself in it
And splattered my own colors accross it
The sky abadon
I Locked You In My HeartI locked you in my heart
And threw away the key,
In there you roamed free
Grabbing at every delicate memory
Residing besides you
Placing a little bit of yourself
In every part of there
Till there was no part without
But as your place there grew larger
My heart grew smaller...
and smaller for you
Till it could hardly fit you.
And though you tried
To leave the same way you came
The door was locked
From the outside in
With the key in the trash.
And as my heart finally grew
My love, too suffocating
You left my heart in the only way
That you could...
Breaking it apart
Piece by piece
Till there was a hole
Large enough for you to leave
And for my heart
To crumple into almost nothing
But the remains of a locked heart
And a key still in the trash.
i am beautifuli.
i am beautiful
with tear streaked eyes
and shaking hands
clutching my blanket as hard as i can
i am beautiful
as i walk down the school hallways
faking a smile
watching masks slipping off of people's faces
as i walk by
i am beautiful
as i stand facing a bathroom mirror
clutching only a towel around my bare body
thinking about how numb seeped it's way into my heart
and how it feels like there is nothing there to stop it
from destroying me...
i am beautiful
with closed eyes and shaking hands
i can believe i am truly beautiful
and not pretend at all
the snow is white
as i stand at heaven's pearly gates
looking at a reflection
at a girl
who has the widest smile i've ever seen
and is by far the most beautiful girl i've ever looked at
ThreeThree choices. Three options. Three paths.
Run. Hide. Cry.
Change. Remain. Pretend.
I waited. I forced. I acted.
You found someone. You'd never want me. You have no cl
BelieveYou're not pathetic.
They're wrong, the people who told you no,
you can't do anything.
They said it wasn't possible,
But guess what?
You just have more opportunities to
PROVE THEM WRONG.
Never give up,
because THOSE PEOPLE, those people who have brought you down,
WANT to see that.
They want to see you fall and react to their stupidity.
But what you, yourself as a person, can do..
IS TELL THEM THAT
they were always wrong.
Drug AbuseChapped lips with smoke rings arising,
inhale the bullshit, release the lies.
Memories now bursting, disoriented and crazed,
A smirk to the face, " i wont change my ways"
Dusty, powdered white snow flows to her brain,
a smirk to the face, she wont be the same
Running, sprinting, falling, misleading,
a note falls below, squinting and reading.
letters dance and colors form
her thoughts, her past, everything torn.
outside she goes, street lights turn on,
she sees a face, "hey girl, what's wrong?"
She trembles, wobbles, and shes numb, no pain,
she sprints, the face gets closer,
and then wakes up 10 years older.
late twenties, shes freaking and shaking,
still trying to do some erasing.
she wants to go back, fix her past,
wants to succeed, make something of herself at last.
you never know until you try, right?
but she doesn't, she wont, she stays up all night,
doing anything to just get that high.
She tries and tries, but why, why why.
Chapped lips with smoke rings arising,
inhale the bullsh
One Last GoodbyeWriting one last letter, saying one last good-bye,
My blood falling to the floor, as if coming from the sky.
"You told me that you love me, but we could never be,
I cannot live without you, so I'm doing this you see."
"If we cannot be together, then I don't want to live,
I've got nothing left at all, nothing left to give."
I close the envelope softly, seal it wish a kiss,
Turn to look the other way, and wait for my dismiss.
All. Just. Lies.Life isn't all just fun and games.
No one really tells you about the hidden things swept underneath the rug, now do they?
They don't tell you about lies, oh yes, the incredible, lovable lies.
Now who doesn't like a daily dosage of that?
I mean, all people really are these days are shells.
It's your choice to crack it open or not.
Do you really want to know what they carry on the inside?
Do you want to see for yourself,
The "perfection" that they so themselves told you about or lead you on about?
Or would you rather just bury yourself in your own shell and call it a wonderful life?
Isn't life all about taking chances,
Building up an AMAZING courage to get drowned all over again,
To get suffocated until your head bursts,
Or until your heart breaks?
Such a wonderful life,
Full of wonderful choices.
Hopeyou make me smile
which hasn't happened in a while
you seem to be that little bit of light
that made me realize I could still make something out of my life
I found someone who cares
someone who actually wants me to be there
sometimes I still can't believe its true
but it hits me every time I look at you
I understand you want to take things slow
it's good just so we learn things we need to know
you want to get to know me
to try and see everything we could be
you actually want this to have a chance
for us to have a real romance
I wanna make you happy
to be able to fix the things that make you feel crappy
I wanna be the one you confide in
no matter how hard things have been
I'll be there for you
and everything I say is true
I promise I wont leave
and I know thats hard to believe
but as long as you want i'll stay
and be there to make everything okay
Suicidal BreathsWith a decrease in energy,
Fatigue, sick-to-stomach and feelings of mortality,
She still survives,
Though she buries herself in broken lies.
She says she's fine,
She's just okay,
But deep down inside,
She's full of sorrowful pain.
She believes what she hears,
And avoids what she sees,
Feeling the sad, pity, indescribable beliefs.
She sits in a corner full of isolation and guilt,
Darkness and ache,
Counting the pills she spilled.
White and Blue,
Just one more.
Vision becoming blurry,
She's shaky and becoming worried.
Looking in a reflection,
Ribs soon distinguishable,
Bones and fright just popping out,
She screams inside and yells for help.
No one's around,
She can't hear a subtle sound.
She pleads to why she's on this earth,
Why her mother had to give birth.
She falls to the ground,
Blending into the darkness of the unspoken place,
She cries and cries,
Soon she'll be erased.
Lost for wordsI used to be able to take a group of ugly words, and turn them into a beauty.
I used to be able to have the words tell a story.
Now I’m at a loss for words, wishing I could bring back the inspiration I had before.
I know if I force it out, my words will become lies.
Un-relatable, and confusing.
Despite my efforts to change this.
It’ll remain the same.
Till I find my inspiration again.
Parenting for Sex AddictsThe half-day.
We are not those folks that need an occasion to try. And that’s what they call it, too. Trying. As if the very idea of it is taxing. It’s not taxing and we are not those people.
No. We do not go by some magical calendar. Schedules aren’t really our thing in general. That’d be too organized. Too stuffy. Too… I don’t know… too planned. And we’re not the type of people whom plan.
If we could—plan—our lives would be much different. I think. It’s hard to say because this is how we’ve always been.
Our very togetherness is a result of impulse. I’m almost certain that the amount of time it took us to decide to move in together was significantly shorter than the amount of time it took us to remember each other’s names. We might have had our first conversation moments after that first… what I mean to say is we didn’t plan. Because planning would have been much t
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More