Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconcrumbledwings: More from CrumbledWings


Featured in Collections

Stories and Poems by Ghost1lover

Literature by Yuesumi

Lit by aly1992


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
April 5, 2014
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
5,532
Favourites
650 (who?)
Comments
97

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
×
Hey wanna trade?
I'll give you my heart
For your smile
They're both so pure 
So beautiful
I think its a fair trade.
Hey wanna trade?
I'll give my virginity
For your words
Both feel so sweet
Both make us happy
I thinks its a fair trade.
Hey wanna trade?
I'll give you my trust
For your lies
Both feel so true
Both feel so real
I thinks its a fair trade.
Hey wanna trade?
I'll give you my tears
For your devotion
Both feel so heavy 
Both feel so unwanted
By each of us
I think its a fair trade.
Hey wanna trade
I'll give you everything
For your heart
You already have two
Mine and yours.
Please?
I think its a fair trade.
A spoken word about naive love. Its also done in the same format as my other poem "Hey Remember Me?" cuz I was bored. Hope everyone enjoys.

ALSO guys just got a wattpad (www.wattpad.com/user/CrumbledW… )and i intend to portions of the book I'm working on. So if you wanna read it soon go there.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconthewalkingfailstick:
TheWalkingFailStick Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Love this!! cx
Reply
:iconguldfeldt:
guldfeldt Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I read the first two parts of the poem and I thought "aawww" but as I got further down I felt more and more of a chill down my spine. Lovely done
Reply
:iconhappilysleepless:
HappilySleepless Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow.

So eloquently depressing.
Reply
:iconnyanko68:
Nyanko68 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014
It's so beautiful and so sad at the same time ! I love it ! <3
Reply
:iconraberbagirl:
raberbagirl Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm usually not a fan of the poetry posted on this site (or even any poetry in general XD), but this is an exception, I quite like it. The irony is so smoothly presented and painful. It's sad to think of those people who are so desperate for love that they don't realize they're sacrificing too much of themselves for something that isn't even love at all....
Reply
:iconsarah-chan14:
Sarah-chan14 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Beautifully said :)
Reply
:iconglenn-phillips:
Glenn-Phillips Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014   Photographer
I've refused to read anything on DA before. This was the first. I'm so glad I read it, this is awesome<3
Reply
:iconcebinc:
cebinc Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Wonderful!!! Sounds like so many of us can relate.
Reply
:iconpolaris279:
Polaris279 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
Wow, I love it!
I feel it so close to me and my experience, especially the lines about the truth traded for lies...
Well done, dear! Clap 
Reply
:icontigerlove566:
TigerLove566 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so beautiful and true. Great work. :clap:
Reply
:iconkitteh-kun:
Kitteh-Kun Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i love this its so accurate and lovely and well written
Reply
:iconkatjanette:
KatJanette Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Professional Artist
Exquisite! Please keep writing Pixel Rose 
Reply
:iconsumarlegur:
sumarlegur Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
this is horrendous.
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
Thank you for that
Reply
:iconmageofcats:
Mageofcats Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student General Artist
Sounds like me...

I can't help but trust and like everyone I meet (not in THAT way, I just think the absolute best of them unless they've betrayed me. And... I've been betrayed. -_-)
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
That's line about virginity, so true.


You should never be in a relationship where YOU'RE the one giving up your virginity, and they're not giving anything to you in return (because they've already given theirs up to someone else :roll:)

Virginity is something that should be given from BOTH sides of the relationship, not just from one.
Reply
:iconsilverfoxthief:
SilverFoxThief Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
But I can't help but wonder...what would they give up? What could equal virginity? O.o For some, it might be difficult to find a partner that also hasn't lost their virginity...say, if they were 30 for example. How many 30 year olds have their virginity in tact?
Reply
:iconlynknevers:
LynkNevers Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Good questions. What would they give up? What could equal virginity? I have never thought about these things before. Being a 31y/o virgin myself.
Reply
:iconsilverfoxthief:
SilverFoxThief Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
I understand your position. I'm 24 and never dated before in my life. I feel like an alien because it feels like everyone around me has/had someone... :/  But still...would there NEED to be an exchange...or just mutual trust and understanding?
Reply
:iconlynknevers:
LynkNevers Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I think for me I would NEED to know with certainty that the relationship is LONG-term.
Reply
:iconsilverfoxthief:
SilverFoxThief Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
Yes, exactly! I know for a fact that I couldn't give myself to someone unless I knew the relationship would last more than a day...or a year. ...The trick is really just finding that someone who can wait for YOU to be ready, isn't it? Of course, it's not a crime to insist for patience.


Well, good luck to you. :)
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
It may be hard, but the search is meaningful. There are few people who are of that age, but few doesn't mean nonexistent.

Besides, would you really want your first time to be with someone who will be comparing you sexually to their past experiences?
Reply
:iconsilverfoxthief:
SilverFoxThief Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
You do make a good point about choosing your mate carefully, especially if it's your first time, and not just running into the arms of the first person who says, "Oh, baby, I love you"... But, I'm just saying, eliminating someone as a potential mate because it's not their first time when it would be yours isn't necessarily a good reason to dismiss them. They may actually be better to be with than to be with another virgin because they may have a clue about what to do. Now, it depends on the person of course, but waiting to make sure you honestly trust the person probably after a considerable amount of time is the best thing to do.

As far as comparing past sexual experiences...wouldn't that happen if two people got together that both had been with someone before too? Wouldn't that happen if the initial virgins went their separate ways with other partners? As long as they didn't throw it in your face during the experience, it doesn't seem like that would matter/could be avoided to me. :shrug:

In other words, I wholly agree with you. Searching carefully for the right person who cares about YOU, rather than your virginity, is important...but I'm not so sure that person being a virgin too is absolutely essential.
Reply
:iconsteffenc-itsjustme:
SteffenC-itsjustme Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Just to add a little balance to this whole thing, given that Thelce-Sorceress is quite adamant about it being absolutely essential to be with a virgin if you yourself is a virgin, here's my two cents:

My last relationship lasted about four years. It felt like we were meant to be, we just fit in every way possible. But life doesn't stand still, it keeps evolving and so do we. Four years later, and I'm still not sure of this, I guess we just weren't as compatable anymore. At least not according to her, so she ended our relationship, which I've pretty much dealt with emotionally and intellectually, maybe not completely, but almost. That has taken me about 19 months to do and it has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and thoughts, but one thing I can happily tell you is this: I was her first sexual partner, in the sense that she had not had sexual intercourse with anyone before, and even though I was not a virgin (I had had sexual intercourse with one girl before her), it was probably the greatest experience of both her and my life. The way we bonded through that experience is beyond describable and because I had experience with sex from a previous relationship I was able to help guide her gently through it and take all the consideration possible to make it as great an experience as possible. It felt so special, both because she had chosen me to be her first, but more so because of the way we synchronised with each other during the whole experience.
So, what I'm trying to say is this:
It doesn't matter if the person you are with is a virgin or not. All that matters is the way the two of you choose to handle it, how you choose to let it happen and whether or not you both are able to immersive yourselves into the experience as it happens. Trust me, if you manage to do this, you will have an experience worth remembering for the rest of your life and it won't be because the other person was also a virgin, I promise you this.
Reply
:iconsilverfoxthief:
SilverFoxThief Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
Oh, Steffen, you're making me jealous! I wish I could just copy your story of that initial experience and put it in my life! :D

Well, regardless, you're right. You're absolutely right. Relationships don't always last from the moment the virginity's lost, but that doesn't mean they can't be worth remembering. Just make sure it's WORTH remembering if your chose to lose the virginity!

Steffen, you sound like a good person and I hope you find someone special. :)
Reply
:iconsteffenc-itsjustme:
SteffenC-itsjustme Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hehehe, unfortunately you can't, but fortunately(!) you can have you very OWN experience of that kind, if you find someone to connect with in that way :D ^^

P r e c i s e l y . Make sure it's WORTH remembering and you will never regret it :)
Things and experiences matter, not because they last forever, but because of the exact opposite reason - because they are temporary and we must treasure them all the more because of this. As it is with everything in life.

Well, thank you, that was very kind of you to say :) and I'm happy I'm able to say it back to you, because you also seem like a very nice person and I'm sure your future holds many great experiences ^^ <3
Reply
:iconsteffenc-itsjustme:
SteffenC-itsjustme Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, and I forgot to mention this:
I didn't compare my ex-girlfriend to the first girl I had had sexual intercourse with. Why? Because in that moment, nothing else mattered except that very moment and that experience her and I were sharing with each other.
That is not to say that I didn't later on compare her sexual skills to the skills my previous partner had had, but I did that in the context of where we were in our relationship and I only did that in an attempt to figure out how to empower her, and me, and help make our sex even more enjoyable for the both of us.

If someone cooks a great meal with you, wouldn't you take the tips and tricks you learned from them with you? I certainly would and that's essentially what I did, if you understand the metaphor, hehe.
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Now...I can dismiss your argument.

You still sadly seem to have flaws.

Yes, when someone isn't a virgin and you're with them, they WILL be comparing you, whether you know it or not.

It is essential.

Life, sadly, isn't a fairytale.
Dont be utterly naive and think that when someone has lost their virginity to another person and then wish to date you, they've completely forgot about their past sexual relations with them, "Just like magic!".

I think that, when you're truly in love with someone, when you've gotten to know them so well that you know them like you have been with them your whole life, that you wouldn't FEEL the need to break up, divorce, what many couples sadly tend to do nowadays.

so your argument about virgins parting ways can't be too true because if they truly loved each other in the first place, they wouldn't be so willing to throw one another way just like that.

I'm saying, I find it odd that someone would ever think to trust someone who, in their past, loved someone, trusted ANOTHER human being so much, that they gave them their body.

Why would you trust someone who loved someone before you so much they have themselves to them?
Then where would you fit?
Not anywhere, that's for sure.
You can't replace someone like that.

So my argument is, yes it's essential and it makes no sense why people could possibly believe otherwise.
Reply
:iconsilverfoxthief:
SilverFoxThief Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
Wow...that was a lot of anger. You must of cared for someone very much, or knew someone who did, only to have the heart stomped all over...

It IS possible for virgins to get caught up in the moment and just want to know what a sexual experience feels like without caring about one another. ...Things like that happen all the time and unfortunately physically intimate encounters can be mistaken for love all too easily. That's why it's important to wait to trust the partner as fully as possible. Yes, of course there're people who will just use someone for intimate relations and sometimes that first love fades in time...that doesn't mean it isn't possible to connect in the long term with someone who isn't a virgin if you, yourself, are one.

Now, as far as flaws go...well of course I have flaws. There isn't an organism alive who doesn't have flaws...because flaws are what allow for survival and life.
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
:?

my comment wasn't angry in the slightest.

I was only stating fact.

And again, why would you slightly TRUST someone who gave themselves away to someone when they didn't care for them.

Not only is that selfish (it ruins their chances of being with someone else and it sticks with them for the rest of teir lives)

no one can forget their "first time".

And anyone who thinks that it's possible to fall in love with someone who has loved another before you, utterly believes in fairy tales.
Because it is not likely to happen.

If anything, it'll mean that when they date you, they'll have the mindset that you, yourself, are just as disposable as their last partner.
Reply
:iconsilverfoxthief:
SilverFoxThief Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
Well...maybe the words read a little angry to me. :shrug:

Of course no one can/will forget their first time, and trust isn't something to throw around easily. It takes time to develop a loving, trusting relationship and it's not a fairy tale to hope to be with someone who was already with another. Yes, some will use you and throw you away, but not absolutely EVERYONE who has had sexual experiences before WILL.

Caution is a good thing, but sometimes there is such a thing as too much caution in a relationship.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
*that line*

Sorry XP
Reply
:iconhossainx:
hossainx Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I LOVE THIS POEM .... NICE WORK
Reply
:iconalphaart101:
AlphaArt101 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
awwww
Reply
:iconsyarasirene:
SyaraSirene Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So raw and moving, I love it
Reply
:iconoldtiny:
oldtiny Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
want  to trade love  looking for a heart XD
Reply
:iconminatolikessmoothies:
MinatoLikesSmoothies Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This really drove home for me. The concept is beautiful.
Reply
:iconbornfromknowledge:
bornfromknowledge Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I'm crying because this explain my situation so perfectly, beautiful!
Reply
:iconrandomcatsrfuntolove:
randomcatsrfuntolove Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, I know everybody has already said this but this is really amazing! I can't even go into detail how powerful this piece is, just wow. Definitely going to give you a watch and a favorite! ^^
Reply
:iconsorcererwithapen:
SorcererWithAPen Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student Artist
Nice poem...however
There both so pure 
So beautiful
First line, it's not there or their but they're
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
corrected thanks for noticing XD
Reply
:iconarinuchi:
Arinuchi Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
AHHHH NOPE I JUST POOPED IM SORRY NOW I FEEL STUPID!!! AHHH FORGIVE ME
Reply
:iconsorcererwithapen:
SorcererWithAPen Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student Artist
Doesn't matter, we a ll make mistakes, again, we all make mistakes (even I'm horrible with grammar, grammar is a beast)
Reply
:iconarinuchi:
Arinuchi Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Just wondering xD I'm bad with 'there' usage but wouldn't it be They're? Because "They are both so pure"?
Reply
:iconsorcererwithapen:
SorcererWithAPen Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student Artist
yes it is they're! :>
Reply
:iconanimeloverishere:
animeloverishere Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazing :') pulled a string on my heart!
just a little type, 4th line, "their"
i love it!
Reply
:iconstrongbutgentle:
StrongButGentle Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
So beautiful :iconmonkeyloveplz:
Reply
:iconmurti-69:
Murti-69 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
Wow........this is incredible.
Reply
:iconkool11:
kool11 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014   General Artist
this is very good. Hatsune Miku-06 (Smile) 
Reply
:iconyonderness:
Yonderness Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It's a good poem, I think. Just wanted to point out one spelling error I saw; "There" at the beginning of the fourth line should be "they're", as in "THEY ARE both so pure."
Reply
Add a Comment: