Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
When I shall die 
I ask not for a coffin
To display my mortal body
To the Earth beneath.
I ask not for a funeral
A celebration of my life and memory
Though both would be soon forgotten
I ask not for roses nor lilies
To slowly rot away in coherence with me.
When I shall die
I merely ask for a stone
With my name etched onto its soul
And of this stone I beg,
To remember me
Remember I was here , that I existed,
For all eternity.
alright so the reason i wrote this wassssss  oaklungs :iconoaklungs: .  yes while I'm certainly not a groupie i recognize talent very easily. while my over- competitive nature is slightly envious of her ability to do what took me nearly a year n 7 months i quite personally love the fact that there's such a  successful writer on the site and cant help but feel proud. so in the greatest form of flattery i have decided to fashion my next three pieces in oaklungs style with my own remix. those who regularly read my works know i regularly change my style of writing and truthfuly i just want to try out oaklungs writing XD. hope she likes it  though this piece is obviously a failure in mimicking her style ( i made it too long). hope everyone enjoys XD
Add a Comment:
 
:iconpamfreak101:
PamFreak101 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014
Love the simplicity, so beautiful! 
Reply
:iconaleistercrowe:
AleisterCrowe Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. I love this...
Reply
:iconfcflamingcatfc:
FCFlamingCatFC Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I really like the message that this poem sends. It's short and simple, and strong. However, if you're going to be so blunt, I suggest taking more of a modern approach. You seemed to have taken more of a 1800s approach to this, ex; "I ask not for" and I personally wouldn't have done it that way. It is a very beautiful poem, and I hope you take my criticism as trying to build you as an artist, and not knock you down as an artist.
Reply
:iconanamsohail:
anamsohail Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautiful <3
Reply
:iconrozenvocal:
RozenVocal Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is exactly what I want when I die...
Reply
:iconcloudmistdragon:
CloudMistDragon Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
I feel...the same way. Great poem.
Reply
:iconsonicwolfyn424:
SonicWolfyn424 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
This is how I feel about my death.
This is very beautiful!!
Reply
:icondogviolet:
Dogviolet Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
Beautifully written! Very powerful!
Reply
:iconanimegirl286:
Animegirl286 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
wow! so beautiful!! TT.TT
Reply
:iconhokslol:
hokslol Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student Digital Artist
good job like it very artistic :D
Reply
:iconmasterofthestorm:
MasteroftheStorm Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist
Clap 
Reply
:iconazroartist:
AzroArtist Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student Filmographer
Highlight of my day, and I agree 4000% :)
Reply
:iconthenimster:
TheNimster Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Finally, something on the front page that is worth my while, great job!
Reply
:iconsyinthetic:
syinthetic Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
oh tears ...
beautiful
Reply
:iconsilvereyeshinobi:
SilverEyeShinobi Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*struck with feels**normally doesn't like poetry* This was fantastic! I loved this! one of the things I fear when I die is being forgotten, so being remembered is something that really strikes me. Thank you for writing this :la:
Reply
:iconhawk-tip:
Hawk-tip Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

:D I personally hope to be cremated myself after I pass.

I hope they're proud. :) This is great.

Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
oh my goodness, i do love it
i find it so incredibly peaceful
and i am so flattered that you would want to do something like this :thanks:


'to display my mortal body
to the earth beneath'

:heart:
Reply
:iconcrumbledwings:
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
np XD whenever i read some of your pieces i find myself thinking "God i wish i had written that, that's absolutely beautiful" so instead of writing some flimsy comment i decided to show you how much i like your pieces :D . Glad your not offended or anything and i plan to submit the next one later today hope you like it too 
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
how could i possibly be offended by such a lovely gesture?! :thanks:
i can't wait for the next one, i'm just
really shocked that someone would do this because of my writing :blushes:
Reply
:iconshelbyjean263:
ShelbyJean263 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, I am speechless. Beautiful piece.
Reply
:iconlosgeloest:
losgeloest Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
awesome, for me you are as good as oaklungs :huggle:
Keep it up <3
Reply
:iconget-fancy:
Get-fancy Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Student General Artist
But my dear, even rocks erode. 
Reply
:iconawesomenessbringdr:
awesomenessbringdr Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
I love this so much! Beautiful!
Reply
:iconrema-alkhany:
Rema-Alkhany Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
nice and sad.thanks
Reply
:iconim-human-2:
IM-HUMAN-2 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
Beautiful.
Reply
:icontarzok:
Tarzok Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
:clap::clap::clap:
Reply
:iconciscobuddy:
ciscobuddy Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
Simply wonderful. :)
Reply
:iconthesleepinggods:
TheSleepingGods Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Student General Artist
For a man only dies when he is forgotten.
Reply
:iconmrhungry56:
mrhungry56 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
Very good.
Reply
:iconchronoslove21:
Chronoslove21 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
oh this is great! love the emotion behind it. 
Reply
:iconalesham:
AleshaM Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Ooooh.
Reply
:iconsurrealnacre:
SurrealNacre Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love oaklung's work :) and you did a great rendition!
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconcrumbledwings: More from CrumbledWings


Featured in Collections

Literature by Steampunk-Blooper


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
February 7, 2014
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
3,161
Favourites
339 (who?)
Comments
32

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
×