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Submitted on
January 17
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133 bytes
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Why does a moth fly
Directly into the flame?
Perhaps its captivated
By the beauty to be found
In such pure recreation
Or perhaps
It flies so surely
Into its own death
Because it believes
The flames of rebirth
Will allow it a second chance
At metamorphosis,
And perhaps that this time...
It will appear a butterfly.
Perhaps this is the only thing
It can force itself to believe
While it burns.
I thought of this three months ago and i just now finished the thought. Talk about perseverance. Ok so everyone plzzz favorrite this T.T i haven't been on the cover in two months. I know its selfish to ask but the continual failures are killing my confidence. and if u dont favorite at least comment so i know what im doing wrong.
Hope everyone enjoys :D

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:iconturtlesensei:
TurtleSensei Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Also, to the previous comments mentioning the punctuation, I don't feel that you need it at all. The sentences themselves punctuate the thoughts by the fact that you separate them. I too, write thus way and people often critique my style, but I feel that it gives the poem a uniqueness that cannot be replicated. Keep writing in your own style and don't let anyone change you! If you ever publish a collection, I would love to purchase it!
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:iconturtlesensei:
TurtleSensei Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have often wondered that too about moths too. I actually wrote a poem called "Like a Moth to a Flame" a few years back! That line has always captivated my mind
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:iconjeffreyrebowlski:
JeffreyRebowlski Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'd like to think that we're all sort of moths drawn to an idea, only for it to consume us. 
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:icondelta-13:
Delta-13 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! I am commenting on this piece of literature on the behalf of PowerfulWriting. First off, I will preface this by admitting that I don't know much about poetry, so my comments on form might not be as useful, but hopefully you'll find something that I write helpful.

First, I will say that I like the concept of this poem. I really like how you play with reincarnation, but the poem seems to end on a mocking tone almost. It's almost like you're laughing at the moth for even thinking it could be reborn. It is simple a made-up belief so it can survive the fire. I really like how the poem progresses and I think you have a create concept here. My favorite lines are: "Perhaps this is the only thing/It can force itself to believe/While it burns."

However, I have to agree with a previous comment. I think the breaks are a little choppy and interrupts the flow of the poem. It might flow better if you were able to combine some lines put the emphasis on some of the more important words. Another thing that kind of tripped me up was the lack of punctuation. This might be me, but I read the entire poem without any mental pauses and it was kind of dizzying. It somehow rushes the piece and i think there should be some moments in this poem where the reader can breath an reflect on some of the great lines you've written.

Of course, those are just suggestions. Do with them what you will. I really like the poem and I think you've got some deep ideas here. Good job! ^_^
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:iconwiggle16:
Wiggle16 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Super inspirational! 
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:iconbonbonbomb:
BonBonBomb Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Student General Artist
Wow! This is really awesome!!!
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:iconrufusmisser:
RufusMisser Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
amazing!!!!Clapping Pony Icon - Princess Luna Clapping Pony Icon - Twilight Sparkle 
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:iconmeme2mimi:
Meme2Mimi Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a really nice perception in poetic form you've doneNod 
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:iconlegolaspanther:
LegolasPanther Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
~Greetings~

I really do love this poem, as its vision is fantastic and amazing. It offers so much to see and feel about the moth flying and changing both at once. The thoughts on it are both genuine and unique, which expresses its originality and impact. This poem is expressive and story-like in its perspectives. What I also appreciated was the questioning nature that you provided in the poem. However, there are a couple of things that need to be worked on.

I am going to focus on technique. The poem over-all is good as a nonce stanza, but that is not my focus on the reason for the low points. I see that you have added some punctuation in some areas, but there are other areas that could do with some more added. Such as, a period would do at the end of 'recreation' for example. There is a definite balance between too little or too much punctuation, just so you know.

In Summation, this is a very well done poem and I hope you continue to write like you do!

Sincerely

~Legolas


Vision 5/5
Originality 5/5
Technique 3.5/5
Impact 5/5
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:icondeviantart074:
Deviantart074 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014
Really Nice Creation of a poetic thought...!
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