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CrumbledWings's avatar

Drowning The Pain

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Description

If you don't understand, the beginning paragraph use two famous cocktails "Three Wise Men" and "Bloody Mary". I would have used more but very few drinks have helpful (for poetry) or somber names like these two. The awesome cover image was done by ~onesummerago . I wrote this to show the somber and depressing side of drinking. The rhyme scheme isn't the best I've ever had , and I did a bunch of bad slant rhymes but i sincerely hope everyone enjoys and someone give me a critique!!
© 2013 - 2024 CrumbledWings
Comments14
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kayceethe166's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

being a recovering alcoholic myself, this poem holds a distinct and powerful message for me. i remember nights of feeling the exact emotions you bring into play with your words. im a big fan of using short lines in poetry, and i believe the way your lines play out make it feel like every line leaves room to take another drink.

the ending gave me pause for a few minutes, but i took it to mean that you would rather be a fool that was able to stop drinking, as opposed to being a drunk fool.

the dying in bliss part was especially powerful to me. i know a lot of people who thought that dying under the influences of alcohol was the best thing they could manage in their lives. it takes a hard look at one's life to realize that is not even close to a good solution. but it fits so well into the thought process of the poem, and we have all been there at some point or another.

your whole poem is very powerfully written, and shows a side of drinking that the commercials seem to forget to advertise. congrats, and keep on writing.