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Smoking's Bad For You by CrumbledWings Smoking's Bad For You by CrumbledWings

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The cover image was done by :iconnikitagirl: ~NIKITAgirl .This is completely different from my usual poems. I was bored listening to Drake and made this. Its not my usual writing an entire story and transmuting it into an emotional poem. This is instead a small glimpse into the romance of two shattered hearts. I planned to make a full one but this one seemed to better fit the theme.
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Critique by JuanMilagro Sep 12, 2013, 9:47:39 PM
As a smoker who quit, I can identify with this piece all too well. The technique was excellent. I gave you 3 1/2 stars for vision because so many of us have stopped smoking, but yes, if you still have a loved one who smokes, just as I do, then this is important to you. Unfortunately, nicotine will remain dominate in your loved one and attempts such as this one are unlikely to succeed. I stopped smoking for nine months one time. Job pressure and the constant craving finally got to me and I went back to smoking. Finally, I had a stroke in 2009 and lay in a coma for almost six weeks. Once I woke up, the cravings were down enough that the nicotine could no longer maintain its grip on me. I do not envy you one bit. You are up against a formidable foe in the form of nicotine that holds your loved one in thrall. Oh, and you're right not to push. That would only make matters worse. Try giving your loved one a set of e-cigarettes instead. She/he will remain as addicted to nicotine as ever, but at least they will not be ingesting all the other nasty stuff that comes from using tobacco.
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Aura-Dawn Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
No truer poem have seen written, but it has a flaw that is unseen by the one in love,  the one they loves can't love them all that much back, or else why would they be killing them as they are themselves.  You can't breath because of all the smoke.  Guess what, that smoke is filling your lungs as much as theirs.  2nd had smoke causes cancer and death as well.  That is a proven medical fact.  Not to mention of all the other things it does, like turning everything in your home as yellow as your lungs.  By deadening the sense of smell.  Personally can't even stand getting close to someone who smokes because of the stench of smoke around them.  Heave perfume don't always hide it.  

Someone mentioned pipe smoke being more aromatic and tasteful.   So is arsenic if you love almonds.  So go ahead and delude yourself with pipe smoke.  I'd rather smell the freshness of the natural aroma around me, then dull my senses with something that will kill me. 

Nice poem, very well written.
lacesnflowers Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

This is a serious poem. It shows how much love he holds for her...

But I still think he should be braver.

When you really do love somebody with all your heart, you'll do anything to make them feel better, to make them live a happy life. Even if you're going to live without them.

At least, that's what I read around. I've never felt this kind of love.

This is a great poem, by the way. :D

(sorry for any grammar mistake. English is not my first language)

JGlascock Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yup, sure is! pippe smoking is safer, and tastier!
CherishKay Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
CrumbledWings Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013
well so many hearts must be a good thing :D
CherishKay Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very much....I relate to this.
Scaley-Randy Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Student Writer
Sorry, I accidently hit the decline button, could you resubmit it?
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Submitted on
September 8, 2013
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